Maddie. 18. Minnesota. Kenneth Branagh, Frank Gorshin, Shakespeare, Avengers, 1966 Batman, Frank Sinatra, old movies, fun., Once-ler, Beatles, Once Upon A Time, Psych, Castle, CSI: NY., Doctor Who, I dunno I probably forgot a bunch of stuff...
look, i mean, quite aside from the idea that the kirk shirtless scene cancels out the underwear scene (although: nope) or that a cut brindlebee shower scene would’ve done it (although: still nope), could somebody please tell jj abrams that watching a dude ignore a request to avert his eyes in favor of open-mouthed gaping at what is essentially a woman in a bikini suuuuuper doesn’t make me think “womanizer” or “ladies man” or whatever? it makes me think “teenage boy who has never seen a naked lady before.” it makes me think “would be terrible in bed.” it makes me think “ew.”
like, o b v i o u s l y that’s not the biggest problem here — there are so many bigger problems here — but i feel like the line i keep hearing people come back to in defense of this is that the underwear scene was meant to like, establish kirk’s ~exciting personality trait~ of seducing and banging everything in sight, but like? that’s also??? a failure??? because that kind of graceless gawping doesn’t indicate someone who is good at sex or has a lot of it?? for pretty much the same reasons that i wouldn’t look at someone poking at a palette of paints with an expression of shocked and bemused wonder and think wow i bet they are a master painter??? i just???
i mean i’ve got a thousand objections to the kirk-as-a-womanizer argument anyway — can’t kirk just be someone who likes sex, why does it have to have this ~power~ piece to it, what is with all the weird women-are-bodies-first-and-people-second cues, this is supposed to be the future i mean for real, did we really have to go with literal sex kittens, tos kirk would punch this dude in the face — but i also just wanted to write this down somewhere because like. jj. if you’re going to do a bunch of super gross shit to convince me someone is wham-bam-thank-you-ma’aming it with half the federation, the least you could do is not… also… do a really bad job of convincing me of that? again, it’s so far from my biggest issue with all this that it’s laughable but like, insult to injury, c’mon now.
how much old could an old sport sport if an old sport could sport old
the Gatsby jokes are getting really weird
bird privilege is being able to make loud noises early in the morning without somebody calling the cops on you
Help I am being held hostage by people who peer pressure me into drinking hot beverages
how is it that I avoided being pressured into doing drugs or drinking or whatever my whole life but the minute someone says “drink this mug full of boiled leaves and cow juice or we’ll think you’re weird” I agree to do it